Diary of a Lonely Soul

Welcome again, to a very late instalment of my blog. But again, I haven't really had much to write about of late.

But today I find myself bored with nothing else to do, on day one of being alone in Leeds. Like the money-grabbing fool I am, I volunteered to work over Christmas, thinking the extra money would come in handy and make the sacrifice of not going home until Christmas Eve worthwhile. As usual, how wrong I was. When expecting 3 shifts, I find that we are now closed on Tuesday and I'm not required on Thursday, leaving Friday as my only shift before Christmas (excluding tonight's of course). For the sake of £30 I'd probably rather have spent an extra week at home, but hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it? When I say I'm alone, that's not strictly true, I do have the one friend in Leeds. But unfortunately, she works full time and lives a good 45 minute walk away, so not exactly ideal. But a friend is a friend, I can't complain.

But anyway, it's now a week until Christmas. I hope you've all got your Christmas shopping done. I know I have. And when I say "I have", what I really mean is my sister took my money from home and bought some presents. With my consent of course, I'm not calling her a thief. Christmas when you're older isn't as good of course, as you pretty much pick all of your presents, but shouldn't this be good because you're getting exactly what you want? For me the main annoyance of Christmas has to be the music channels, not being able to watch a music channel without the usual dross songs from the past, and the occasionally shit new one such as Justin Bieber.

I always found with Christmas that no matter what age you are, there's always that one thing that you want that you never get. When you're young there's always that present that was just too expensive. And when you're older there's that one thing that Santa just doesn't have the power to bring you. Like what? European football at Sunderland would be nice. But I don't think anyone has the power to bring that. I live in hope. After all, "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies." - Who'd have thought a film could provide such a good quote? The film is The Shawshank Redemption by the way, in case you haven't seen it. I hope for a lot of things, some more realistic than others. Nietzsche once said "hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man." Of late I found this the more refreshing quote than the other, but then I realised that this is not true. Only false hope prolongs the torment. If there is genuine hope, and not false hope, maybe there is something you can do about it.

How do you decide between hope and false hope though? I'm yet to find out, I just expect everything to work itself out. Maybe if I do something about it, I'll find out.

Thanks for reading,

Thomas.